After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
