My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize