My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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