wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
