I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
