How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize