were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
