didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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