Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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