I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
