I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
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I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
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Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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