can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
