D3 body, D1 cock
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
