Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize