I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
