It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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