I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Sorry about my life...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
