So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
