For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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