dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize