I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
