Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
