Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
