His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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