I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
