For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
