So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
