I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
