I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize