Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
