you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
