She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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