i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
