Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
