Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
