Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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