I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
