Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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