Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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