I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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