I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
