What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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