At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
handjob tips. give me some.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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