so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
