fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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