im six kinds of drunk right now
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
is it fun? or sober?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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