...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
