Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
