life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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