Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
