My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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