We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
