How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
