How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
