You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
