glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
