Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
