i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
