D3 body, D1 cock
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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