some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
