The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
