But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
