everyone is single if you try hard enough
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
