Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
