i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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